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a ready-to-run workshopDifficult Conversations
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Difficult Conversations with Staff (Workshop)

Avoiding a hard conversation, about underperformance, a conflict, a behavior, rarely makes it go away; it usually gets worse. Handling difficult conversations well, directly, respectfully, and with a focus on resolution, is one of the most important leadership skills.

Key takeaway

Avoided hard conversations usually worsen; handling them directly, respectfully, with facts and a focus on resolution, is a core leadership skill that protects the team.

Format
Leadership session
Length
45 minutes
Group size
Any (works 4-40)
Who can run it
A school leader
You will need
Slides (5)Printed handoutA conversation you are avoidingA timer
Aligned to
Learning Forward: Conditions for SuccessInTASC 10: Leadership & CollaborationResearch on difficult conversations
Share / assign

Why it works

Leaders who avoid difficult conversations allow problems, underperformance, conflict, unprofessional behavior, to grow and to affect the whole team. Research and practice on difficult conversations point to preparation, leading with specifics and facts rather than character judgments, genuine listening, and a focus on a path forward, as what makes these conversations productive rather than damaging. The skill is learnable.

The research: Research and practice on difficult conversations (Stone, Patterson and colleagues).

The run-of-show

Choose your slot. The agenda, timings, and length update to match.

    The core activity: prepare one difficult conversation

    Leaders leave having prepared a hard conversation they had been avoiding.

    Address it directly, respectfully, earlyAvoided problems grow. Prepare the facts, lead with respect, listen, and focus on a path forward. The conversation is kinder than the avoidance.

    Facilitator notes

    Avoidance makes it worseHoping a problem resolves itself usually lets it grow and erodes standards for everyone. Prepare and have the conversation, directly and respectfully.

    Adapt it

    Participant handout

    One page for every teacher. Print it, or save it as a PDF.

    K12 Academics · Professional Learning

    Difficult Conversations: direct and respectful

    <b>Do not avoid it:</b> prepare the facts, open respectfully, listen, and focus on a path forward.

    1. The conversation I have been avoiding:
    2. The specifics and facts (not character):
    3. How I open directly and respectfully:
    4. How I will listen:
    5. The path forward I want to reach:

    Make it stick

    Direct, respectful, early:

    Common questions

    Can't I just avoid the conversation and hope it improves?
    Rarely. Avoided problems usually grow and signal to others that standards do not hold. Addressing them directly and respectfully is kinder and more effective.
    How do I keep it from blowing up?
    Prepare, lead with specifics and facts not character, listen genuinely, stay calm, and focus on the path forward. Make it about the issue, not the person.
    What if I am nervous?
    That is normal. Prepare what you will say, anchor in specifics and shared goals, and remember that handling it is part of caring for the whole team.

    Go deeper

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